Last weekend I worked on a film. To fit into my skirts I bought super Spanx that came up to my ribcage. The thought actually crossed my mind that I might have been happier wearing an entire scuba suit of Spanx under my clothes.
I think I was thinking this while having my morning tea with my usual four teaspoons of sugar. (HOW did that habit happen?) Or maybe it was while having my daily angel food cake and coffee.
So when I had an appointment with my beloved dermatologist Dr. David Colbert and he asked me if I knew about his book I figured it was a hint or something. Of course I knew about his book. I’ve known about it for a year and have successfully avoided reading it, even though I love him, because of the topic- DIET.
Cranky hates anything to do with diet. Actually most diets bring out the obsessive compulsive in Cranky and that is not a good thing.
I once tried Weight Watchers years ago and ended up feeling like I worked at the post office or something because I had to weigh everything on a stupid scale. And I used to run out of points by lunch and have to eat tomato soup and a glass of water for dinner and then I felt like I was in prison in a third world country.
“Why don’t you look at it while your waiting?” the dear doctor said. So even though I dreaded it, I cracked open the book “The High School Reunion Diet” by Dr. David Colbert.
One of the first things I read in the book was: “Food is a wonder drug.” Well that’s great because I eat a lot of it and I am glad it is good for something.
Then later: “The day when deprivation is the key to weight loss… is so over.”
Now you have my attention Dr. Colbert.
Cranky gets even crankier if she is supposed to be hungry all the time.
My favorite quote from the book is: “All we have to do is start eating.” Thanks so much Dr. Colbert, but I never stopped.
“You’ll still need to eat.” He says, “Quite a bit in fact.” This might actually be the program for me, the girl my mother described as “a good eater.”
Later he says: “Recent studies show that the French in fact eat the most, but Americans are the most obese. Maybe eating the most isn’t so bad.” A diet book that admires people who eat the most? Is Cranky dreaming?
I do remember when I was in Paris sitting in a little café watching a THIN THIN THIN French woman devour a sandwich on a baguette and then polish off a gorgeous raspberry tart. And I wondered, “What’s up with that?” I wondered if maybe the fact that everything they eat is fresh had something to do with it. But then I went home and bought angel food cake in a plastic container.
Yes, eating less is no longer relevant according to Dr. Colbert. Good thing because it is also impossible and unpleasant.
So Cranky is giving it a try. Spring is coming after all. And following that the horrors of New York City summer when everyone’s fat arms are flapping in the breeze.
Yes, Cranky is actually eating according to plan in the “High School Reunion Diet”. It is full of all the foods that make you more beautiful. And I haven’t been hungry once. And bizarrely it’s been only three days and there is less over-hang hanging over my Citizens of Humanity jeans.
I did have to lose the angel food cake though. I thought I had found the perfect dessert in a sugar free angel food cake (only 110 calories!) until after the book tells me to read the ingredients, and I realize I’ve been eating a cake made from a mound of chemicals baked in a bundt pan. So into the garbage it went. Buh bye fake cake.
If you wince at the thought of bathing suit weather like I do you gotta get the book. It’s like healthy. Not some dumb unbalanced weird way of eating like a lot of diets. I mean it. You know Cranky doesn’t do tacky ads on her blog. Oh no.
PS I just heard on “The Chris Matthews Show” that the United States is behind France in social mobility – I blame it in PRESERVATIVES.
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