There’s a thing about being an actress that happens a lot. You can’t wait to get a job. And then when you get a job, you can’t wait until it’s over. And then when it’s over you’re afraid you’ll never get another job.
This is my current state of mind. Add the fact that it is the depths of summer and NO ONE is calling me to audition. I have gone from CRANKY ACTRESS to CRAZY ACTRESS.
I almost agreed to go to Philadelphia for an audition for an Indy film. Not just Philadelphia, but some scary place called Jenkintown. So I would be doing approximately 5 hours of round trip of traveling for the CHANCE of a role.
My first tip off was when my husband answered the phone and a guy said, “Ah, um, is this an actor?” It was the director. He didn’t know who he was calling. But I still was gonna go. It was a total desperation move.
And who was I gonna meet when I got there? Freddy with the mask? Is there a crazy man inviting actresses to come and audition in obscure towns in Pennsylvania? Are the actresses never seen again? Does Freddy tell them before he kills them, “Look, you had a chance to use your head. You could have refused to come to Jenkintown. But you came of your own free will. You did. You came. You traveled five hours for an audition. What kind of idiot does that? You are so stupid you deserve to die.”
I didn’t tell anyone because I knew they would tell me I was nuts. I only told a very close friend. She said, “Ah, Cranky if you need to get out of the house that bad why don’t you go to the beach?”
Doing a play where the script had MAJOR problems is torture. But not doing anything is WORSE TORTURE. So today I donated five pairs of shoes to housing works, rearranged my closet, hand washed all the hand wash, and checked Facebook where people posted videos of funny pets doing funny things and are playing Bejeweled Blitz. And now I’m thinking maybe I SHOULD go to Jenkintown.
Cranky Actress Blog 
Well Cranky…
I live about 10 minutes from Jenkintown. I WENT to BROOKLYN and did 5 hrs of BG on As the World Turns. Can I tell you how glad I was to get the check? I ran straight to Franklin Mills Mall with it.
Don’t judge. I woulddn’t have come out any better making $10/hr answering phones.
See? Someone in a more pathetic situation than yours.
Hey, Cranky, did you see this? http://bbs.backstage.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/8011031/m/854102032
No! I didn’t – thanks a million – I emailed the guy.
Writing is very much the same. You beg for work, get an assignment, spend the entire deadline dreading it, wishing you could be doing anything but, submitting it after however long in misery- only to find yourself back to begging for work.
Sometimes you get an offer for something you are pretty sure would kill your career and make you the joke of the business (IE: Writing about how super amazing the new tampon is with it’s new features and packaging!) and you’re torn.. take a chance on professional suicide, or wait some more.
Blank paper can be very intimidating, there has been more than one occasion I wanted to “Go to Jenkintown” myself, hang on though, the good stuff is right around the corner.
Thanks Ms. Ninja- OK, we won’t go to Jenkintown – and thanks for your kind words.
I totally get how you feel!
It is the craziest and most horrible thing ever, just to sit and wait and wait and wait and wait…need I go on?
I’m hearing everywhere that this summer is the slowest ever! So it’s not just you. I hope you get some auditions (or better yet, bookings!) very soon!
Thanks Trudi – if you were here Cranky/Crazy would hug you right now!