Cranky Actress Blog

Another actor blog? I promise not to do the usual “Wow, I got a CALLBACK CALLBACK CALLBACK!!” type of actor blog.  ‘Cause that would make me NAUSEOUS NAUSEOUS NAUSEOUS!!  No, there will be no headshot included, or link to my online videos.  My name will be fictionalized so I can actually tell the truth and not try to sound LIKE I’M DOING REALLY WELL.  No, there will be true unglossified stories of auditions and weirdness that is a part of my life.

I got from a casting director on a Saturday asking me if I was interested in a doing a bit on a major prime time hit television show. Ah yea, the answer would be yes! Opposite a major “Mad Men” star. OMG!! Could I meet the director on Monday morning at 10am at Silvercup Studios? Ah ah ah the D D D D D Director?

Now, I don’t get to meet directors of hit sitcoms. No no no, I’m the queen of student films. I planned my outfit, went to Hop Stop to figure out how to get there. Skipped that. Took a car. Stressed about the fact that I had a paying job in Manhattan that started at 11am. Hmmm. The money gig versus the audition is a very clear case of bird in hand.

The first sign that this wasn’t going to be the appointment I expected, was when I was sent to sit in a big barren “holding room” that is used for holding extras and was also a sad-looking cafeteria with that horrid cafeteria smell. Two other women up for the same role were already there, reading their newspapers. An uncommunicative PA came in the room and had us fill out papers. When I told him I had to leave by 10:30 because I had work, his response was; “What you’d do that for?” Then one of the actresses tells me she once waited 10 hours to see Robert DeNiro. Eh? I’m starting to vibrate with anxiety about being late for my freelance gig. Freelance means they are always free to hire someone else. The PA ignores me until my stares finally elicit a response and he talks on his walkie-talkie and tells me to follow him. We go down to the offices. When we get off the elevator he points to a couch and says very firmly; “Sit there.” What does he think I’m gonna do? Run around and ransack the offices? Try and do monologues for any living moving person I can find? Shove headshots at people? After a few minutes, a woman, I think she is the 2nd A.D., sticks her head out of her office door and says; “They changed the script over the weekend. She’s a shriveled old woman now. You can go.” You can go!! YOU CAN GO? No sorry you had to come all the way here?” No consideration of the fact that Silvercup Studios is NOT CONVENIENTLY LOCATED!! Oh no. Just: “YOU CAN GO”. Nice. I ran to the train and luckily one pulled in right away. Ran from the subway to the job and made it. In what universe are people this rude? The acting universe. In ten seconds, the excitement of prime time, director, working opposite star are out the window with one sentence from a nameless woman.