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Acting Teacher Comments Fat Ass or No Fat Ass?

I continue to go to acting class. Keep going because if I don’t I will become a hack due to the level of directors I generally work with who love, love love blocking. Have a great but extremely inscrutable teacher. Like he didn’t say hello to me for the first like eight years. Chose him because I no longer wanted a teacher who wanted to get inside my head. I know a teacher who announced the first day of class; “I’m going to mind fuck every one of you.” They ask you what sad experience you are thinking about in a scene. They can get really personal. I had had it with that, and Mr. Inscrutable is perfect for me. And like every other young actress, I fell in love with my first acting teacher and felt like a complete idiot for doing so. So a man who won’t even say hello to me is a really good thing. If your work isn’t what it should be he actually gets angry. Which seems horrible. But it’s really a great thing. Because what most of the world views as silly, in his class becomes IMPORTANT.

Last night an actress in class who is on network TV right now started babbling before she would even start her scene. She was eating a lot and she couldn’t figure out why. “I can’t believe it. I was over a friend’s house and I ate popcorn and candy and I would never do that. Then when I’m on set, I take big plates of cookies back to my dressing room and I eat them all. I had a fitting with wardrobe, and a pair of pants that fit me two weeks ago, don’t fit anymore. I can’t figure out what is going on with me, I stopped my scene partner in the middle of Union Square and made him look at my butt and tell me if it’s big or not. I don’t even know what I really look like. And I haven’t been exercising either. I don’t know what is going on. What do you think? Is it Ok?” Mr. Inscrutable is looking confused and uncomfortable with this line of questioning. All he says is, “AS LONG AS YOU DON’T BLOW UP.”

I get him talking about a famous actor who was in that week’s New York Times Magazine. He seems nutty. Mr. Inscrutable says; “He was a fabulous actor, really had something and then he decided he was a STAR. He was working on a movie and wouldn’t come out of his trailer for two days. Well the financing for the movie came from someone “connected”, so two very large men came and knocked on his trailer door and explained to him why he needed to go back to work. They were huge.” Can you believe that? It doesn’t just happen in Woody Allen movies.

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2 Responses to “Acting Teacher Comments Fat Ass or No Fat Ass?”


  1. 1 Richie December 11, 2008 at 11:16 pm

    I have a son who is so anal retentive over his hair that about 7 years ago he went ballistic over his hair not doing what he wanted it to. He took out the electric razor and cut it all off…AND IT HAS BEEN OF EVER SINCE! Once a week he buzzes his head like a bowling ball.

  2. 2 Senior Pathwords Partner December 11, 2008 at 10:58 pm

    “Fat ass or not fat ass?” I believe that’s a line from Shakespeare’s famous play “Ham Hock”


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