Famous Actor Follows Breast Around All Day

There is a pecking order on large films. There are people who count and people who don’t. This was never more apparent then when I did stand-in and extra work for a period film. I had to be dressed by a wardrobe woman in an authentic turn of the century outfit. It was very very very hot. Only the craft services room had air conditioning. We were in an old school building in Jersey,

One morning, the wardrobe woman was dressing me. We were in a stifling, small; closet sized, dressing room that was created by curtains. I had on tights, a black satin skirt and she had just finished tying up the corset, when she heard the lead actor’s voice outside. He was the latest himbo. She heard him and just flew out of the dressing room and left me there. All the wardrobe women were standing around admiring the new bloomers they had made for him. I’m not kidding. Bloomers.

I’m dying. It’s stifling. I can’t get the blouse on by myself. I’m waiting. I’m waiting. I can’t go out there. I’m in a corset. I can’t breathe. I’m dying. The corset is synched so tight I couldn’t slouch and I didn’t know if laughing was a possibility. Unfortunately, I am well endowed, and a corset makes large girls look gargantuan. They are pushed up to my chin. I finally can’t stand it anymore, and quietly walk out of the dressing room.   Wardrobe woman glances at me and says’ “Oh, sorry.” Like she forgot I was in there. She was mesmerized by the bloomers. She goes back to admiring the bloomers and their contents.

I try to act casual and not attract attention. Unfortunately, the corset makes unobtrusiveness impossibility. Himbo is staring. He says, “Hello.” I say hey and look annoyed and turn away. Stupid men love you when you ignore them; I learned that in high school when the most popular guy in tow towns was dating me. I used to say, “Go away” a lot. He became obsessed.

So that did it. Himbo makes eye contact with me the rest of the morning. Introduces himself. He actually sits with me at lunch! I kid you not. Himbos don’t sit with extras. He carries a Leica with him, and he takes my picture as I’m sitting across from him and we chat. One of the supporting actresses comes over and sits next to me because she wants to be near him. She actually tells him what a great body he has. “You do, you really do”, she says. I find this kind of embarrassing and repulsive all rolled into one. The minute I finish my lunch I jump up and toss my tray and head out of there. Himbo looks confused that I would walk away. But as impressive as all this sounds, I saw him the week before trailing another extra he took a liking to. He never noticed me that day. Oh no, not until the girls came marching out.

3 Responses to “Famous Actor Follows Breast Around All Day”

  1. 1 Debby December 12, 2008 at 11:06 pm

    The power of the boob… meant in both meanings of the word regarding you and himbo.

  2. 2 Suzanne Du Charme December 12, 2008 at 11:03 pm

    You F-ing rock, girl! I love your blog. I know what it’s like to be treated like human furniture, but at least Famous Actor had lunch with you and took pictures of “the girls.” Keep those stories coming…

  3. 3 Senior Pathwords Partner December 12, 2008 at 6:51 pm

    That’s the breastest story ever.

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December 2008

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