The Myopic Topic Conversation

There are a lot of situations when actors are sitting around waiting. Occasionally, especially at auditions, actors find ways to let other actors know about all the work they’ve done short of just whipping out their resumes and reciting it. They also find ways to drop how tight they are with the director.
This takes ingenuity. It takes talent. But with a background in improvisation, it is pretty effortless to take any topic and find a thread to past projects you have done.
Here is an example of how this is done:

Actress 1
Hi, uh are there any sides?
Actress 2
Yea, on the table.
Actress 1
Oh, thanks. Are they on time?
Actress 2
Yea, BUDDY told me it would only be a few minutes.
Actress 1
BUDDY?
Actress 2
He’s the DIRECTOR. He’s a FRIEND of mine. He called me personally and < ASKED me to audition.
Actress 1
Do you have a TISSUE?
Actress 2
Sure. That’s so funny. I’m in a play RIGHT NOW and I have to cry every night and I’m crying so much that we’re going through a ton of TISSUES!
Actress 1
That’s nice. COLD out, huh?
Actress 2
Yeah. That’s so funny. This weather reminds me of the time I did CHEKHOV, it was < COLD then too.
Actress 1
Speaking of COLD, that reminds me of the time I did MIDSUMMER NIGHT’S DREAM and the air conditioner broke. We wished it was COLD then, you know?
Actress 2
Oh, how awful.
Actress 1
And to make matters worse, it was a FULL HOUSE. We sold out every night.
Actress 2
Oh, that reminds me of the time I did MISS JULIE. They lived in a HOUSE.
Actress 1
I auditioned for that role. My agent said I didn’t get it because the role is too old for my age range.
Actress 2
Gee, your agent sounds nice. That was such a nice way to put it. So you weren’t too disappointed. How sweet!

1 Response to “The Myopic Topic Conversation”


  1. 1 Gino February 3, 2009 at 9:02 pm

    Whenever I’m in a crowded room waiting for my turn I just pretty much leer at the other actors up for my part. I just want them to know that no matter what happens I’ve been in my share of street fights. It’s probably immature and meaningless but for some reason it motivates me.


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