Archive for March 31st, 2009

Cranky Goes To Vermont

Cranky just got back from Vermont. Vermont Vermont. I think it should be called “THE COMPOSTING CAPITAL OF THE UNITED STATES.”
Seriously, if we all lived like Vermonters the Polar Bears would be like over whelmed with their choice of ice floes.
These people believe in stuff and actually do things about it. Other than just buy the hat and wear the pin.
I visited a high school friend who is now 100% Vermonter. With two other high school friends. Vermonter kept finding contraband in the garbage can. “WHO THREW THIS IN HERE?” Oh oh. Gail got snagged for putting a cracker box in the garbage. This is serious. Very serious. I’m absolutely sure there is not one person in the entire state watching “The Millionaire Matchmaker. No, no these people are serious.

On Sunday night at 8:30 a hyperventilating neighbor came by to tell us it was time to turn off the lights for global warming. A great idea. It was nice to be a part of it. But neighbor lady was so SERIOUS about it she was giving herself a heart attack as she ran through the corridors of the co-housing complex turning on the movement sensor lights in her wake to tell everyone to turn off their lights.

“I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS!” she said, when my friend tried to introduce us. And she flew down the hall to spread the word, lights flicking in time with her feet. The Paul Revere of the eco-movement.

Merrills are a must. As is no makeup. And I think no hair conditioner by looks of the inhabitants of co-housing.
There was a cake timer in the bathroom. What the hell? I was afraid to ask. But I so wanted to know. Finally someone asked, “Why is there a cake timer in the bathroom?” “Well”, Vermonter said, “My neighbor thought we should try to work on taking shorter showers.” “NOW YOU’VE GONE TOO FAR!” was my response. Fanatic Paul Revere Lady and her big ideas. She’s already convinced my friend that they should stop using the clothes dryer. Hence the cardboard like scratchy towels that had dried on a rack in the middle of the living room.

Al Gore called it “An Inconvenient Truth.” INCONVENIENT – you got that right.After going to Vermont ,I feel I should do more than use a few compact florescent bulbs and recycle. But what? Even if I composted what could I do with it? Put it on houseplants? I’d get a fine if I threw it in the park.

Then I remember that hell, I live in New York City. City living is all about sharing. It doesn’t matter that yeah well, we are forced to do it. We actually each have very small eco-footprints in the big city. We take mass transit. We recyle.
Cranky felt superfluous when visiting Vermont. These people are working on saving the world and I’m writing funny little plays. And acting in experimental theater. I feel very unimportant. But then I remember Fanatic Paul Revere woman. And hey, someone has to help her lighten up.


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