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Cranky Goes To Vermont

Cranky just got back from Vermont. Vermont Vermont. I think it should be called “THE COMPOSTING CAPITAL OF THE UNITED STATES.”
Seriously, if we all lived like Vermonters the Polar Bears would be like over whelmed with their choice of ice floes.
These people believe in stuff and actually do things about it. Other than just buy the hat and wear the pin.
I visited a high school friend who is now 100% Vermonter. With two other high school friends. Vermonter kept finding contraband in the garbage can. “WHO THREW THIS IN HERE?” Oh oh. Gail got snagged for putting a cracker box in the garbage. This is serious. Very serious. I’m absolutely sure there is not one person in the entire state watching “The Millionaire Matchmaker. No, no these people are serious.

On Sunday night at 8:30 a hyperventilating neighbor came by to tell us it was time to turn off the lights for global warming. A great idea. It was nice to be a part of it. But neighbor lady was so SERIOUS about it she was giving herself a heart attack as she ran through the corridors of the co-housing complex turning on the movement sensor lights in her wake to tell everyone to turn off their lights.

“I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS!” she said, when my friend tried to introduce us. And she flew down the hall to spread the word, lights flicking in time with her feet. The Paul Revere of the eco-movement.

Merrills are a must. As is no makeup. And I think no hair conditioner by looks of the inhabitants of co-housing.
There was a cake timer in the bathroom. What the hell? I was afraid to ask. But I so wanted to know. Finally someone asked, “Why is there a cake timer in the bathroom?” “Well”, Vermonter said, “My neighbor thought we should try to work on taking shorter showers.” “NOW YOU’VE GONE TOO FAR!” was my response. Fanatic Paul Revere Lady and her big ideas. She’s already convinced my friend that they should stop using the clothes dryer. Hence the cardboard like scratchy towels that had dried on a rack in the middle of the living room.

Al Gore called it “An Inconvenient Truth.” INCONVENIENT – you got that right.After going to Vermont ,I feel I should do more than use a few compact florescent bulbs and recycle. But what? Even if I composted what could I do with it? Put it on houseplants? I’d get a fine if I threw it in the park.

Then I remember that hell, I live in New York City. City living is all about sharing. It doesn’t matter that yeah well, we are forced to do it. We actually each have very small eco-footprints in the big city. We take mass transit. We recyle.
Cranky felt superfluous when visiting Vermont. These people are working on saving the world and I’m writing funny little plays. And acting in experimental theater. I feel very unimportant. But then I remember Fanatic Paul Revere woman. And hey, someone has to help her lighten up.

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3 Responses to “Cranky Goes To Vermont”


  1. 1 john April 13, 2009 at 11:32 pm

    Hey cranky — thanks a lot. There’s a lot more songs there where that came from, including plans for more videos…. need to ramp up my technoskilz. on the way. as for no country for good food — i have lived all over the world and ate things most americans wouldn’t touch (not saying i liked it all….), but the last 5 years ran projects in the midwest and deep south that required long site visits and weeks of awful food. when i returned from these trips i couldn’t eat ANYTHING for a week at a time. i hear ya. now for the songs, pass the song along. if you feel like corresponding more — jguidry.7@gmail.com. i enjoy your writing.

  2. 2 john April 13, 2009 at 1:36 pm

    Hi there. I love this post, and my friends in Brattleboro, and my Vermont-like enclave in Brooklyn. Sometimes wish I could move to VT, then realize what I wish for is a way have a country pad and a city pad…. Also enjoying your other posts, e.g. Facebook posts, had me laughing and really enjoying my first coffee of the morning here looking out my window at the harbor, downtown, and new jersey. Check out http://truthandrocketscience.wordpress.com/ if interested; may I blogroll you? I’m not in the acting community but the media, social media, blah blah trying to make a living. Comments, advice, fellowship of the blog welcome.

    • 3 john April 29, 2009 at 2:51 pm

      Hi cranky — thanks for the comment on the song. And images. I’ve been trying to collect more images to do another, which i have a much better recording of. it’s a song about new york. i’m going to a blogfest next week in bklyn and will try to figure out more. one of the organizers of the blogfest posted my song on her uber-brooklyn blog (only the blog knows brooklyn) and this should be fun. hopefully the new song could be up within a week. there’s another project that could be really interesting if i can pull it off, which is a film video of a song i wrote about a true story out of the iraq war. updates later. lots of projects, so little time.

      thanks again for the feedback. -j


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